artemis fowl and the christmas story
by AnimeMomo
Summary: artemis fowl meets santa claus's daughter.. what will happen
1. Chapter 1

The winds of winter were blowing through the hair of Artemis. He felt the heat rise in his cheeks. It was cold and he was shivering in the blizzard he couldn't tell if this was the blizzard of love or death. Since he has met the wonderful girl he last saw her entering the blizzard with a care in the world he followed her but now he was stuck alone in the blizzard.

Artemis: SHIT!

Butler: master Artemis maybe it wasn't a good idea to follow the girl into the blizzard,

(Artemis moves down his raven hair and his blue eyes glean with annoyance)  
>Artemis; well you didn't very well stop me now did you.<p>

Butler: Artemis what's that

Artemis: what

(butler points to a small town twinkling with Christmas lights)

Artemis: unbelievable butler, I think its Santa's workshop

Artemis couldn't hold his feet any longer he sprung into action and started running towards the house only to find many small elves and reindeer.

Artemis: UNBELIEVABLE SHE MUST OF RAN INTO HIS WORKSHOP!

(the elves stop working and turn to artemis and butler)

elf: oh we have visitors its been an awful long time since we have had visitors , come follow me will get you by a fire and some hot cocoa

Artemis: See? Butler? They're nice little midgets we can mess around with *is whispering into Butler's ear*

(they both walk into the house its nice and toasty they both sit down as they sat near the warmth of the fire.)

? : Twinkles have you see my red bow, which's this

Twinkles: we have visitors miss Mikayla!

Artemis: Oh...my god...she's much prettier in the light then that awful coldness...*Whispering to Butler still and stops and walks over to her* hello Madam but me and my friend here got lost in the coldness of that blizzard and we're still wondering were we are can you tell us? Please? *Is using his smile to try and attract her eyes*

Hi my name is Mikayla and you're in Polaris town. May I ask your name?

Artemis: My name is Artemis...nice to meet you Mikayla *Kisses her hand*

Mikayla: alright may I ask what your intentions are for you being in Polaris town.

Artemis: uum...My friend's grandfather is very sick and well...Butler is here to 'help' me with him! *Pulls Butler's ear so he might have another intention*

Butler: Oh yes were here to help him out but we got lost and well...I don't know! *Artemis steps on his foot without Mikayla looking* OUCH!

Mikayla: very well follow me for it's the time of good will towards men (Mikayla leads butler and Artemis into a another room)


	2. Chapter 2

Artemis: Question where the hell are we?

Mikayla: I already told you you're in Polaris town (giggles)

Artemis: No I mean what room are we in?

Mikayla: were in the living room, this is my family and I celebrate our Christmas?

Artemis: Interesting...Even though I already knew families celebrated Christmas in their living rooms but hey sweetie who's ya dad?

Mikayla: he's name is Kris

Artemis: Okay?

Mikayla: why the interest in whom my parents are? (Laughs)

Artemis: Just a dumb question that's all...

Butler: Oh so you?*Get's mouth covered by Artemis*

Artemis: DON'T SAY IT!

Mikayla: um ok well I was just about to decorate the tree would you like to help me?

Artemis: WOULD I!

Butler: He...he...he...*Starts whispering to himself* Artemis and Mikayla sitting in a Christmas tree under mistletoe k i s s i n g!

Artemis: Shut it will ya! *Covers Butler's mouth so Mikayla wouldn't hear anything*

Mikayla: did he say something?

Artemis: NO NOTHING HE JUST NEEDS HIS MEDICATION SO HE CAN SHUT UP! *Kicks Butler in the shin* He always needs a kick in the shin because it's in his health issues...*Smirks*

Mikayla: (a little weirded out) ok?

? Mikayla sweetheart who are these people?


	3. Chapter 3

Artemis: Holy shit! *Grabs Butler by the hand shoves him onto the couch causing him to be dragged along...causing Butler to land on him* SHIT!

Mikayla: daddy your home, these are my new friends; this is Artemis and his giant bodyguard butler.

Artemis gets nervous.

Artemis: Hello...Mr. Daddy *Butler's laughing and Artemis hits him right in the face* Sorry about that my friend here is kind of bit of an asshole...

Butler: HEY!

Mr. Daddy: hohoho my boy you can call me Santa

Artemis: Holy...Shit...its Santa...

Butler: Does that mean I still get my puppy this year? *Get's hit by Artemis*

Artemis: Sorry 'Santa' But he's an idiotic asshole when he was born he fell off a plane...

Mikayla: there also a bit weird

Artemis: Sorry it's just that he's a very special person that means allot to me when were fighting it's saying that we care deeply about eacthother...right Butler?

Butler: Ummmmmm...*Get's smacked by Artemis* Oh yeah!

Mikayla and Santa look at eacthother and shrug their shoulders.

Santa: now young man what was your name Artemis what?


	4. Chapter 4

Artemis: Yes Artemis...*Smiles* what is something wrong with a boy being named Artemis!

Santa: no my boy what's your last name, Santa never forgets a name

Artemis: Ummm...Artemis...*Looks around the room nervously* Artemis...

Mikayla: come on Artemis its ok

Artemis: Artemis Fowl sir...*Gulps*

Santa: oh Artemis ... you've been a very bad boy

Mikayla: huh he is what has he done

Santa: well when he was 11 he kidnapped captain holly short from the lerecon, when he was 12 he shot his own father recuing him from the Russian mafia when he was 13 he stole a famous painting from a bank, he's been very bad indeed

Artemis: So?

Mikayla: Artemis this serious now you won't get any presents just coal

Artemis: Why the hell should I care? There's no such thing as love or Christmas in my book!

Mikayla: (gasps) how could you ay such a thing Christmas is a wonderful time filled will love for family and friends and joy of laughter of kids all around the world and good will towards man

Artemis: SO?

Butler: Umm...Sorry about my friend's behavior he's very naughty how can I not agree with you Santa... *bends down in honor*

Artemis: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!

Butler: Artemis you can't control me...Christmas is all about love and family not about things you get from a very nice elderly man...It's about giving to others and sharing memories with them hoping that the next year will be the same...But some aren't and some are...

Mikayla: exactly mr, butler, would you like some cookie

Butler: certainly

Mikayla: MOM!

Clara: yes Mikayla (an elderly plump woman walks it)

Mikayla: Mr. Butler here wants some cookies

Clara: ok come with me (Clara takes butler by his hand and leads him into the kitchen)


	5. Chapter 5

Artemis: Idiot!

Mikayla: Artemis would you like to on a sleigh ride with me?

Artemis: Why?

Mikayla: i thought we could spend some time together

Artemis: Fine as long as I don't get barfed on by them reindeer I understand

Mikayla leads Artemis to a sleigh.

Artemis: So where we heading?

Mikayla: you'll see (giggles)

Artemis sits down on the sleigh.

Artemis: I did not like the way you laughed where the HELL! ARE WE HEADING!

Mikayla: it's for me to know and for you to find out!

Artemis: I HATE GUESSING!

Mikayla: i have 3 people i want you to meet (smiles creepily)

Artemis: It better not be the yeti or Mrs. Claus or...a talking snowman!

Mikayla: nope better and look were here (Mikayla points to a creepy run down mansion cover in ice)


	6. Chapter 6

Artemis: Oh good your going to freeze me in that DAMN mansion!

Mikayla: nope the three people i want you to meet live here silly (Artemis and Mikayla walk up to the door)

Mikayla: Artemis look mistletoe (kisses Artemis on the lips)

Artemis: I did not see a missile toe! *Is blushing harder* OKAY WHO ARE GHOULS YOU WANT TO SHOW ME!

Mikayla: ok, ghosts of Christmas past, present and future are you here

Ghosts: who's there and why you disturbed have are slumber

Mikayla: it's me Mikayla

Ghosts: Mikayla come on it

Artemis: Trying to scare me with your 'Ghosts' they don't exist!

Mikayla: im trying to scare you will ghosts that do exist, ghosts show yourselves

Artemis: Yawn! *Ghosts appear in front of him*

Ghost of Past is a female.

Artemis: Why do they call you a ghost? It means evil spirit but you look like a spirit then a ghost *Blushes*

Ghost of present: Hey that's my girlfriend! *Hits Artemis in the face*

Artemis: Yes indeed she is but she's too smoking to be yours!

Mikayla: he gonna need a lot of work

Ghost of Past: of course he's a bit of an idiot to know what he's doing to others! *Slaps Artemis in the face* First I'll take him...

Artemis: OH...On a date?

Ghost of Past: Not in a million years...*Grabs him by the ear and starts pulling him into a white portal* don't worry he'll be fine...


	7. Chapter 7

Mikayla: ok have fun

Ghost of past: I will probably *Sighs*

Artemis: So where are you taking me!

Ghost of Past: Oh you'll remember this alright! *Pulls him even harder to a snowy area*

Ghost of past: Artemis i am here to show what it was like for little Artemis now gazes into my mirage!

Artemis: I don't get it!

Ghost of past: im gonna show you images of you as a kid you little snot

Artemis: So! It's not like you can transform me back to that state you fucking bitch!

Ghost of past: hey you little brat, if i wanted i could go back it time and make sure your never born how do you like that.

Artemis: I'M MUCH BIGGER THEN YOU ARE YOU FUCKING LADY DEMON! *Points middle finger at her* WHAT DO EXPECT FROM ME!

Ghost of past: look you little demon from hell im only doing this because Mikayla has a crush on you.

Artemis: That bitch probably wants me because I'm a bad boy! I don't believe in any kind of Santa related subject...Nothing their all lies and you're probably some projector! So you can't hurt me or you don't have powers!

Ghost of past: that is it (opens portal) lets see how you fair in the past (throws Artemis in)


	8. Chapter 8

Artemis: WHAT THE HELL WHERE ARE WE!

(Artemis looks around and sees a flier) June 1941, holy shit!

Artemis: OKAY BITCH GETS US OUT!

(Artemis hears nothing)

Artemis: shit!

Artemis begins looking around.

Artemis: This is fucking shit...I can't stay out here any longer...It's too boring and well...who's idea was to send me here in damn place!

(Artemis hears a snicker)

Artemis: WHAT THE HELL!

Ghost of past: have fun don't get killed

Artemis: NOT FAIR!

Mikayla: Artemis is you ok

Artemis: I'M OKAY JUST KEEP THAT BITCH MAINTAINED SHE'S TOO MUCH OF A BITCH!

Mikayla: good boys don't curse

Artemis: Who cares Santa isn't real nothing related to Christmas is real! IT'S ALL A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT!

Your stuck there Artemis until you realize the true meaning of Christmas when you do you is sent back to us.


	9. Chapter 9

Artemis: Fine...I'll do...for you...*Tears fill his eyes he quickly wipes them*

Mikayla: Aww thank you Artemis

Artemis: now how to i do this

Ghost of past; you get no help bye.

Artemis: Oh jees thanks for the tip!

Artemis: where to start, oh look a village.

Artemis walks over to it to find many things happening he pays a little attention the all. He sighs as he looks over the place. What was he supposed to find who was he supposed to find?

Artemis: SHIT!

(A little girl walks out of the village)

Little girl: hi my names Anne what's yours

Artemis: Artemis Fowl what's a pretty thing like you running around asking complete strangers names? I think you should go back inside and leave me be!

Anne: fowl that a weird last name, mines frank

Artemis: YOU WANNA NOW WHAT ELSE IS WEIRD YOUR STUPID QUESTIONS!

Anne; (cries)

Artemis: admit

Artemis: Sorry I'm just upset Kay...*Kneels down to the girl hugging her kindly* Can you accept my apology?

The words tasted too sour for Artemis to say but he knew it was the right thing to do. His eyes began to fill with tears why was he crying? What the hell was going on? He thought.

(Time freezes around Artemis)

Artemis: what now

Mikayla: Artemis you need a good deed

Artemis: am i done yet

Mikayla; nope you have to make sure Anne frank doesn't die


	10. Chapter 10

Artemis: HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!

Mikayla: i don't know im blonde

Artemis: HEY JUST BECAUSE YOUR BLOND DOESN'T MAKE YOU A BITCH NOR AN IDIOT!

Artemis couldn't help but stare deeply into Mikayla's there laid beautiful jewels in her eyes. His heart began to race in front of him. Was he in love with Santa's daughter? HELL NO THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! He quickly thought trying to avoid her but she was too precious to not look at her.

Mikayla: you complimented me in an insulting way

Artemis: WHATEVER! *Tries ignoring her*

Mikayla: well bye...

Time begins once again his eyes are still teary.

Artemis: DAMN IT I MADE MY SELF LOOK WEAK!

Anne: why are you talking to yourself are you crazy

Artemis: I'm not crazy no...I certainly am not! Sorry but I know you might not believe me but your going to die if i don't help you!

(anne gives artemis an your definelty crackrs look)

Artemis: Okay then let's just go back inside the village and act like nothing happened!


	11. Chapter 11

Anne: ok you can meet my parents

Anne Frank pulls Artemis's hand pulling him into the village.

? Anne there you are the Nazi's are attacking get inside

Anne: coming mama (Anne pulls Artemis with her)

Artemis: SHIT COMES ON! *Grabs Anne and begins running towards her house* RUN!

(Artemis and Anne are inside the houses)

Artemis: we made it

? Anne who is this

Artemis: I'M ARTEMIS AND WE'LL DIE IF WEDON'T FIND A WAY TO ESCAPE!

(Anne does the crazy symbol were her hand)

Artemis: Okay?

? Where are you from and what's with your strange clothes

Artemis: I'm well...a rich man living on the seas and I help out the poor and the hurt please if you could only trust me then...you'll not be dead...

Anne; ok will trust you

Artemis: Okay then *Smiles and then helps out family and saves them* Well my job is done here.


	12. Chapter 12

(Time freezes and Artemis is pulled threw time)

Mikayla: Artemis is you ok

Artemis: Yes of course...I'm sorry for what I did back there...I knew it was wrong but...when I first saw your precious face I saw an angel not any other girl a beautiful angel with a golden heart and a soul made out of silver...*Leans in close to her chest and begin to cry*

Okay why the hell am I crying? He thought and what's happening my head's becoming light then it should be? He began thinking even more and more till his face became a natural hot red.

Mikayla: my chest is not a pillow Artemis

Artemis: Sorry! *Backs away from her blushing really damn red that everyone around him could say he was crushing on her* I was Ummm...nervous yes! *Begins to sweat really damn hard*

Mikayla (whispers in Artemis ear) i may be Santa's daughter but i can be a really bad girl.

Artemis: No way! Your too good to be bad your the definition of GOOD and ANGEL *Kisses her on the neck*

Mikayla: wanna find out (pulls Artemis to a closet)

Artemis: Would I? *Pants heavily*

" the end"


End file.
